Punchin' Up The Pro Bowl

If the Pro Bowl bores you the way it does some others, maybe it's time for a little brainstorming.

Why play a Pro Bowl?

1) Because the other sports do it.
2) Because we recognize that the best teams go to the S**** Bowl, not the best players.

How can we induce the players to play harder?

1) Reduce the risk of injury to near-zero, which is the "payoff" for this game.
2) Offer bigger rewards -- bigger payout, a payout option plan.
3) Do something else besides play a football game.
    a) Player profiles -- lifestyle, hobbies. It would be neat to vote on player info, such as "Best Player Cause or Charity." It sounds like more like the NASCAR awards dinner or an image pageant than a true sport, but it might work.
    b) Play each other in Madden. Can Madden handle 11-on-11? Might not have to -- keep the non-skill-players virtual.
        i) Fun twist -- they don't have to play. They can pick a sub for Madden, some kid from their hometown for instance. Milk it.
        ii) Special version of Madden with extreme violence (decap, anyone?) and bounties.
4) Appeal to their professional pride.

Jack of All Trades or Decathlete?

I wonder if people who like to do more than one or two things in their lives cheat themselves by using the term "jack of all trades". Generally their audience finishes the phrase with "master of none."

The more sports-minded sometimes use the term "utility player." Using the term assumes competence, but not star-level skill. After all, stars get a position in which they start every game, not a filler role to step into when someone is hurt or needs a night off.

Watching the last Olympics reminded me that we still honor people for doing a lot of things well -- maybe not world-record well, but certainly at a level worth watching. We call these non-specialists decathletes.

Those who win the gold receive the title of "World's Greatest Athlete" even though they do not hold a single world record in any event.

According to Wikipedia, the difference between an Olympic specialist and an all-arounder is roughly 16%, with the margin much tighter for short-distance running events such as 100m (6.58%) and 110m hurdles (4.66%.)

So when someone decides to label you as a "master of none", maybe you should ask them, "Ever wonder how far Usain Bolt can throw a discus?"

Because their problem may not need a great sprinter as much as it needs someone who can run fast AND throw an object.

Seeking a Piece of the Action

My buddy has finally cut me in for a piece of his picker action. My garage now has a few piles of car parts that I'm going to sell on ebay or craigslist. Man, picking is exhausting work (and a little dangerous.)

You never forget your first picking scar

A Favor For My Dad = Manual Labor Sucks

My dad and I sawed up a fallen tree for a friend of a friend today. My pants are still soaked with sweat, several hours after disrobing. We broke or otherwise made useless three chainsaws in the attempt -- which I say because we didn't quite finish.

So scratch tree-clearing from my list of potential side jobs. But it's in the "Do It If I Must" pile.

Also, learned the opening riff to "California Uber Alles"

And Now For Something Completely Different...

A local classic car showroom posted an ad for a "Classic Car Enthusiast", so I answered it. Sometimes a yearning to change jobs seems like an indictment of the present circumstance. In this case, it was a chance to act out a "clean sheet" or "blue sky" fantasy.

Because my resume was really no good at qualifying me for the job, I sent in a "fact sheet", a short FAQ that hopefully described my motivation and possible avenues of contribution. It went thusly --

8 Things You Probably Wish You Didn't Know About Me

What do you do now? I just achieved outplacement from AT&T. While I was there, deploying code was my thing.

What's the difference between computers and cars? Computers don't leak. But some now have liquid cooling, so that statement no longer applies.

What kind of cars do you like? Muscle cars (duh!), Opel GTs, Tri-five Chevys, 911s, Military vehicles, Full-size convertibles, Benz diesels.

Do you know anything about cars? Probably the wrong things, but I read HOT ROD and watch a bunch of shows on Speed, such as Car Crazy, My Classic Car, Two Guys Garage, Barrett-Jackson (my fantasy bid results have not been so good), Stacey David’s Gearz (the slot-car episode was the funniest car show episode ever!) and a few others whose names escape me.


Ever owned a classic car? My first car was a 1977 Trans-Am, though no one thought at the time it would become a classic.

What do you own now?

1979 240d (big and slow – perfect for teens)

1994 Jetta (yes, it has a cage)

1985 Blazer (Zombie Apocalypse Response Vehicle)

1968 GTO (aka rodent homeless shelter)

Instead of a picture of the RAV4, I wrote, "GF borrowed for the day – but you know how they look – like a soul-sucking Japanese appliance."

Do you have a secret shame? Yes – and it sits silently in my garage awaiting resurrection.

Have you ever worked in sales? Yes – once I sold cars (Buicks and Subarus) for six weeks. Another time I sold guns wholesale (about $500K worth actually.)

(Extra) Do you have any tats? Nope. My tastes are too fickle to find a permanent home on my skin and I have no desire to look like a yakuza.

A Witty Saying

I was thinking about SLC and the wikipedia entry that said only half of the population belongs to the LDS (Mormons.)

And I said to myself, "I should misfit right in."

Seeking SLC

Someone from EA sent me an email about a position to which I had applied (sweet.) It's in Salt Lake City.

Adventure, ho!

Not much else I care to talk about. Probably will have a short vacation coming to me.

Also applied for the TIG welding program at Gwinnett Tech. So far only out 20 bucks.