Knowing that politicos love catchy phrases in pursuit of fleecing their charges, I’d like to try my hand at it. Maybe I can land a cushy job marketing Big Bro programs to the sheeple –
1) “Inflate It or Be Berated” – tackling the epidemic of low tire pressure
2) “Stay Off The Street, Or You’re Dead Meat” – jaywalking
3) “A Broken Light Will Get You A Night (In Jail)” – for (obviously) broken head / tail / side / interior lights
4) “That Bondo Has Gotta Go!” – for the War on Bad Bodywork
5) “Paint That Door, Or We’ll Make You Sore” – I suppose we’ll have to make exceptions for those multicolored VW Rabbits that were once popular. Or maybe not.
a. Variation “…or My Gun Will Roar” – just in case they didn’t get the hint the first time.
6) “Change That Space Saver, Or Wear It Like Flava” – to those who run the “doughnuts of death” for 1000+ miles.
7) “Honk Your Horn, And You’ll Wish You’d Never Been Born” – for the rude drivers who believe rush-hour traffic should part for them as if they were Cleopatra on her litter.
8) “Stay On The Sidewalk, Or Be Outlined In Chalk” – to combat the plague of stupid pedestrians
9) “Drive Stoned And You’ll Get Boned” – submitted by Bubba, the world’s loneliest convict
10) “Lose Your Cherry, Lose Your License” – just in case you thought prom night was supposed to be fun…
And one I thought was especially appropriate with my cracked windshield...
11) "You look like an ass - fix your glass!" (Thx Phil!)
