Friday, December 22, 2006

The True Origin of Google?

Here's a conspiracy theory that takes me back to my days at Forest Park Christian School, where I first encountered the notion, told with utmost seriousness, that the band KISS stood for "Knights In Satan's Service (Cuz The Screams of the Tormented Lack Sufficient Cacophony)".

Imagine you were a historian who found an artifact that tied together a relatively new global internet firm, a game that most find nerdy and some find spiritually corrupting, and the word "savior"? You'd have the next "The Late Great Planet Earth" or "Omen".

I won't keep you in suspense any longer. The decoder wheel comes from SSI's Advanced Dungeons & Dragons "Pool of Radiance". Google, Savior, D&D...so far no "666", but I'll keep looking.

Monday, December 04, 2006

Resist The Siren Call of College Football Playoffs

Once again, the brickbats are flying about the BCS and how it cheated certain teams (this year’s BCS biatch is Michigan) of a shot at the title. My personal taste would have preferred an Ohio State – Michigan rematch just because I love the rivalry. But I think a college football playoff system is bad and here’s why –

1) It Wouldn’t Stop The Bitching – We'll still need the Poll of Evil to seed the playoffs, and instead of the #2, 3, and 4 teams (or their fans actually) bitching about being cheated it would be the #17, 18, etc., or whatever the “bubble + 1” position ends up becoming.

2) Other sports / divisions do it – Forget the bromide about moms and cliffs, let’s break this excuse down.

a. Other sports – Despite attempts to conquer the scourge of missing the college basketball post-season, people still bitch about how unfair it is to everyone but the ACC. Baseball playoff selection triggers similar albeit less visible discontent. More importantly, neither sport demands the same level of physical punishment as football. That’s one reason football is played on a weekly basis. I didn’t mention hockey, which I’ll get to later.

b. Other divisions – for most players outside (and inside actually) of Division 1-A, college football is the terminal stage in their athletic career. What fuels this playoff madness is that at least in basketball and football, the NCAA has conveniently inserted itself as the gatekeeper to a pro career. There’s a reason the NBA decided to raise the draft age to 20 -- to force the Kobeys and LeBrons through the NCAA apprenticeship program. Which ties into my next point.

c. College football is NOT pro football, and until something resembling equitable compensation for players is enacted, kids should not be asked to sacrifice a shot at millions or their future health to satisfy the pride of a bunch of drunken louts, I mean alumni, and / or get a degree. If we want a pro football format, we should either create a wage scale in college football or fund a minor league system.

d. College hockey does it – true, but hockey has a minor league system. Choices exist. Besides, hockey players have a death wish, and I say that with love in my heart.

3) It loses sight of why we have college athletics – have we reduced it to just winning and bragging rights? If we're not proud of our school unless it has a great football program, does that make us school alumni or school football team fans who happen to have college degrees? (Maybe neither -- a lot of fans in my state never attended college...) I’ve watched my share of games and have yet to see a university or athletic conference commercial talk about anything other than how the university or conference produces well-rounded people for the future. If we’re going to adopt pro sports values, then let’s go all the way and drop the education / character-building nonsense. Let's call them sports franchises that have an education subsidiary. But then college sports would have to compete for talent on the open market, which goes against generations of exploitative and anti-competitive practices hypocritically spun as “sports purity” or “student-athleticism”.

4) The Kids Want a Playoff – I applaud their enthusiasm, but I’m not sure how much credibility to give it until I hear a “student-athlete” come out with a well-reasoned (or at least sincere) position AGAINST the playoff system. If my state's college football intrigues provide any guide, it would not stretch reality too far to suggest such a maverick would find his BMOC status in jeopardy, at least with some of the boosters.

If you've read this much, you might have time to consider a solution. Adopt the playoff system under two conditions – the first being the players are given an equitable wage for their service in addition to whatever scholarship they receive. The second, hold the NFL draft BEFORE the playoffs and allow those drafted to sit out the playoffs. The players deserve a chance to control their fate.