Who Needs n00bs?

Dedicated to CarpetDuck, v Shredder v, Superfly21, DaDoomday, spookytime, punkboy722, Bonghitkevin11, Liff13, and Junior32909, who said and did the things that put me in the right frame of mind.

I was playing a particularly horrible game of Halo 3 last night when one of my teammates started riding my ass for not pulling my weight kill-wise. He said something like, "the guy who has only two kills should never play Halo again."

After a few minutes of disparaging the person's parentage, sexual habits, and nasally tone of voice, I thought to myself, "I wonder how good the average players would be if all of the scrubs left?"

Imagine Bungie or Microsoft announcing tomorrow, "In response to the feedback provided by our very best players, we've decided to make Halo 3 n00b-free. Everyone with 500 or more matches and a K/D of less than 1.00 will be banned from Halo 3 permanently. You will be given a full refund for your game, including any Microsoft points spent on maps. We feel our decision is a small price to pay for the devotion of our best players."

"Furthermore, the stats for all remaining players will be reset."

OK, you can stop laughing now.

Sure, the idea is far-fetched and an extreme measure to produce exclusivity, but one hears a lot about the notion of firing your worst customers. Why wouldn't it work for Halo?

But think about it a little more, and you'll see that those of you obsessed with K/D might have a problem maintaining it without the padding provided by the clueless, the inaccurate, and the slow.

But worse yet, you should realize that excellence cannot exist without the mediocre. The top few in any field will always be called "the best"; everyone else is called "the rest."

You should pray for more n00bs, not fewer.

PS -- my team's tactics were suicidal; notice my +/- was comparable to theirs. We should have made the enemy come down and get us.

PPS -- Bungie wouldn't have to actually fire anyone. It would be easier to create a new playlist accessible to only the best players, using K/D, rank, or other criteria.